nice Mr HOD, my English is not up to standard? just because I don't talk much during meetings it doesn't mean I don't speak well.

Thanks. you just questioned the standard of Singaporean's English. Seriously, I hate to talk to science teachers. Stop thinking so highly of yourself. when will people learn to humble themselves

oh well.

i'm uber pissed off.

zah just called to give me her wedding invitation. i'm worried for myself. I hate to see myself move on to another phase of life. changes mean too much to my analytical mind.

janice. JKS FM was reaaallllyyy enjoyable. thanks fuzzy.

and i can't agree more....

wow, more than 2 months since i blogged. this shows

1) how busy work is

2) how not interested i am in blogging till now.

but anyway, work load has been crazy yet i've been coping well. in the 2 months marked the departure of 3 colleagues due to school, contracts and overseas living. now the already small SME has become even smaller. soon it will be OMO (one man operation).

i miss having people my age around, it makes me old without them. one of the kids asked me if I'm 28 *stabs heart. It sucks to look young (and try to dress old). i feel like I'm not me anymore. but the annoying thing is that i have to look older for work.

imagine: no short skirts, no translucent tops, as long i can see any part of your bra (including the straps) you are dead, no dark and black eyeliner (NOOOOO!!!), no cleavage, edit no part of your chest should be shown. really? i should be a nun. but soon, I'll be out of here.

I miss having my intern around and s.mel around too, sometimes i wish i never came back from aussieland. its too stifling here. i miss the crisp fresh air the smell of happiness in the air. now its dull, humid and mundane. i wish each day we would learn to smile and be a person who is truly happy.

rather on the other hand, I've been really enjoying my driving lessons. my instructors are just awesome. now its rather sad to think that when i pass i might never see them again. its upsetting to build bonds with people and see them leave.

leaving is really a process i abhor and resent, yet it marks new beginnings and opportunities. oh well.

I've decided not to ask my company to subsidise my driving. sound stupid right? duh but it was never agreed by my boss to only pay for 50% of my driving if i pass on first try. AND it was merely a comment. rather than doing it for my company, i want to do it for myself. i want this to be a personal accomplishment that I've done with my own money I've earned.

on another (important) random note, PY got a Gold at the SYF this year! friggin proud though i did nothing for them for the past 3 years since i left for aussie. deep inside i really miss band, but yet the distance is forged and the bonds are lost.

alot of people question me supporting py instead of my Alma mater SPF, seriously i hate my school. for reasons i refuse to disclose.

i love my juniors I've trained of course, they are family to me. but really my seniors are from PY. i remember the day my SL from SPF walked out on us, i remember all of them leaving grained in my mind. and my PY seniors took us in, taught us like we were one family. that's what i love, the family culture. they taught me to be what and who i am today. so naturally they are my band Alma mater. people can say whatever they want because i live my life for myself.

janice. life means too little unless you live to make life happen.

never tell a crying person to 'stop crying' because it only ignites memories of why the tears were flowing in the first place.

never ask if they are 'ok' because it obviously isn't when someone is in tears..

anyway.

Happy Chinese New Year, i hate hate hate CNY.

because its spells nothing but trouble.

All the cooking, washing, cleaning for people that don't appreciate the evil we go through.

for some of the people whose company i resent. well lunar new year marks a dreading point for me, though spare cash comes in little pockets of red, at the end i'm more exhausted than working. i return to work from a public holiday not rejuvenised but fatigue.

rather a waste of time. i feel Chinese celebrations have lost all their meaning, what happened to spending quality family time wrapping dumplings? laughing throwing flour. (ok fine a bit too drama). But this year it was spent a bit more with hock and my lovelies (you know who you are!) and rowdees.

update more when i get home.

janice. leaving is the beginning of returning.

I've been too busy to blog at all these days.

Pictures are jumbled.



















janice. its our 2 years and 8 months yet you are leaving. sigh.

i'd rather school that work any time. its rather apt to think about what motivates you at work when you are really into the job. i can't really hate my job cause it perfectly merges the use of both my degrees and its quite fun to think of it. (minus the Christian Evangelising, shitty pay and the dress code) i can confess that I AM rather happy at my job.

i learn more than i need

i am forced to pick up new skills

i work in some ulu place that has no shopping/ food hunts

i am taking over a department

so things are lookingup. but back to the original question. MOTIVATION. it can't be money because my pay is shitty. it can't be teaching because i'm actually scared to make mistakes in front of ruly kids and it can't be my workplace because of the fact that I am the ONLY non Christian in the midst of a bunch of God LOVING people.

so what is it then? seriously i have no idea. i'm still searching for myself and carving a niche, but i'm learning alot along the way. i amaze myself sometimes and my Boss is impressed with my Marketing work, so i cannot be complacent and think that everything will be fine. My boss seems good at streching people when they get into comfort zone.

oh yes i will upload pictures when i'm well. being sick and bleeding at the same time is the worse combination ever. met up with beloveds lately: Grace, Janelle, Ryan, Marcus and Ameily.

proposalsfolderdesignsemailsphonecallsresearchmedicines

thats on my list for today.

tada.

janice.

i find spending time with him so enjoyable nowadays, even if we do the most chill things like sipping tea and eating cookies at my place at night while its raining watching korean dramas.

i've never felt like this before. i guess this is what you call Bliss.

its always the small little things that make a huge difference.

you always know what i dislike eating and you'll eat it before i say i don't want it.

you always give me a hug even before i need one.

you always give me a listening ear no matter where you are.

you always are there for me.

maybe its because of the LDR, we treasure each other more, learnt to be more tolerant and more trustful, less doubts and less bickers.

janice. in short- we have learnt to love. and i love you.

My life in piktaures:

Brought the boy to do his brows with me. hahaa.

Remus' xmas play at his church.

Angela's free concert Eons ago with Gracey.

Azzah's childcare center performance.

our 2.5 year anniversary.

_____________________________________________

i am freaking BROKE for this month and next month.

xmas is here thats for one. and then driving is two. its gross as hell to spend almost 1.1k in 2 months just for driving lessons and administration fees. but i refuse to take money from my mum. even though they wanna sponsor me to drive. i'm going to do this on my own. to begin with i already feel bad not giving allowances this month and the next. but i have phone bills to pay, transport to give and i guess no shopping for the month of jan then.

sad. i need to start saving again. was thinking of changing my wallet to a coach, but i guess that has to wait till my birthday next year.

janice. company xmas luncheon today! and i'm almost done with work but i'm a bit behind schedule which sucks big time.

i realised i can get quite defensive sometimes. i don't give others a chance to say something.

time for change. i have so much changes in life that sometimes i wonder its it me growing as a person or am i throughly losing myself?

janice. xmas and holidays are finally coming.

this weekend has been crazy.

friday: went to watch New Moon, which sucked like hell, though i liked the books (it was an easy read) and the first movie. New Moon sucked to the core. there was no climax at all, everything was so choppy, like they were fitting in everything for the sake of it not for the story, things moved from one thing to another too fast. maybe because i read the books, but it was so boring. it was an utter disappointment.

saturday: went to help azzah with her childcare graduation performance. i'll upload pictures about that soon in a sep post. that was till 11pm, by the time Ameily, Marcus and i got home it was almost 1am, and that was after taking care of crying kids, but i swear they were adorable.

sunday: shopping with hock and we watched couple's retreat. HAHA, i have a soft spot for shopping. damn i bought 2 pairs of shoes in like 2 days and a new bag. damn. i'm a sucker for shoes and bags. my current new shoe brand is Mitju, super comfy shoes that look awesome since i'm off heels for a while. Couple's retreat is a worth watch.

monday. its work day.

janice. :) pictures soon!

i know what its like to fall in love again.

how i've missed this feeling. for 2 and a half months i'll keep you safe in my hands. for the next 5 months after that i'll keep you buried in my heart, before my heart breaks.

welcome home my love. you've put colour on my drained life. you've put smiles on my gloomy life. you've put laughter in my lack- lustre life. You've put food back on my menu of life.

You've made me feel worth living for.

janice.