blogger hasn't been working for a long time, so i've been contemplating to change to wordpress. kirke helped me with brainstorming the URL so once its up and running i'll go over to wordpress. i'm sick of the nonsense blogger has been up to.

anyway. my birthday is in 3 days or more like 2 days. but so what? so what to the day i was born. there doesn't seem to be much celebration, or maybe i can't be bothered so the people around me are laissez faire about it.

but really, this birthday reminds me of so many sad things that it its painful to even think of. it reminds me of perth, the people there, my last birthday when kirke and rob jammed their basses to sing me a song, the limo and the party. it reminds me of all my awesome friends (and Hock) that are not in Singapore. it reminds me what i've given up. and it reminds me of people that are too caught up with everything else. maybe its just me feeling unimportant and unloved. maybe its just supposed to be like this when you get old. when all the people around you start to have jobs and families and then everything else seems so unimportant. there isn't a blame to push around. because this is life.

will i be like this in time to come? when the great 22 comes?? it seems like i'm still young. it seems that is.

i feel like going out for a drink now.


maybe i need a pet.

janice. too many maybe-s

I'm going to HUAT AR!
.
.
.
.
.
why? because hock called me and the phone number was? twelve eights.bizarre!!!! was damn freaked out to answer the phone (though the 7th month isn't here YET!) ah, why why why did they invent the 7th month. WHY!??

talking about hock ang teo. i really feel life is getting so difficult without him. day by day. but i guess we will/ must get by it. another 4 more months.

anyway, it was my beloved janelle's birthday yesterday and we celebrated for her. at home. which was really fun. i guess it beats going out sometimes. though we slogged to make dinner and played with her niece judith.
and grace actually cooked. GRACE COOKING. with ting xuan and i watching over her like eagles. haha.
and the food was actually not bad! wontons (fried and boiled), cold tofu, sweet and sour fish, stir fried greens with mushrooms and pork with sze chuan veg. dessert: honeydew sago.. we were super duper full.
then we just cam whored and played with judith. ahaha. she is such a cutie. now i realise how fast time has passed, how fast kids grow up, how we seem to have forgotten alot of things that we have taken for granted. relationships are a funny thing. everyone views them differently, which is good and bad in a way. was happy that bitch ryan could make it, though he is super busy working and filming for his interview.
happy birthday my dear.

janice. what will i do on my birthday? without you again for the third year running.

Hello blog.

this stupid blogger hasn't been well at all. finally its working.

shall add some photos from my meet up with marcus and my dearest azzah. went to the singapore crocodile farm. which was filled with sad looking evil crocs. which i seriously can't differentiate under the blistering sun.
some were awesomely big and some were following me with their eyes.

then we headed to watch GI JOE. omg, lee byung hun is lovely HOTNESS!! and the movie was really enjoyable though we had front row seats. a tad of humour, a tad of seriousness (save the world nonsense), a tad of hotness with my korean God topless. and awesome company.

next was dinner and esplanade to chill at the outdoor theatre to watch bands sing, some dudes sand some really nice oldies.
and we were planning to go prawning, but it was late.

janice. hope my dears stop worrying so much. chillax

i seriously need a happy song.

janice. dull + dull

its been sucha busy weekend.

saw my new baby niece- keira. so cute! she is the most inquistive baby at 1 week. *pictures in my sister's phone.

and i've been helping marcus with homework, glad its almost done. its been a tough weekend without talking to hock. but it was so sweet hearing his voice.

i guess absence makes the heart fonder.

okay, i shall stop typing cause i just hurt my wrist by propping myself up from bed, i think i'm getting too fat. hahaha.

janice. you know i miss you. my mr grumpy.

okay, i screwed up my first interview. sometimes i feel I'm not cut out for science/ research anymore. and i just the very nice professor has a point too, should i really go into something that I'm not sure i want to do for the rest of my life. which is good. its a reality check.

so hopefully, the marketing side would call me soon. sometimes i feel I'm so dispensable.

oh well, it was a good learning experience though.

met janelle and gracey and ray? damn extra. but anyway through all the stories, it was a good catchup session. i miss talking to them. janelle is the mentally strongest person i know. i doubt i can be like her. when time ticks on you, its damn scary.

i'm a cam whore no more.

janice. sometimes i think I'm too helpful, but it beats doing nothing.

its weird sending out resumes, but its exciting in the sense that i'm going to be in a totally new environment again. soon i hope. Singapore is as always so suffocating for me, i guess there are some aspects that I did not miss at all.

Just a gentle refresher of what i've been up to:sent ben off to brisbane. ah, my handsome boy. haha. weird that i have too many close guy friends for the comfort of onlookers. i guess people that understand me know what i'm like. but i miss ben dearly though, its rather weird not having him with all his navy nonsense and diving so he can't meet up. but i know that boy is the least of worries. and of course farzana, she never fails to impress me with her will and her plans, its awesome to have them in my life. my band buddies. and it was nice seeing ben's extended family once again.

also met up with my springfield peps:
marcus and ameily, azzah that twit is always missing. so depressed without her, she was supposed to share the good news with us. MISS AZZAH S. if you read this- REPLY MY SMSES! or else Mr Fa will find you. it was so awesome chatting up with ame since she was leaving for brisbane again (see how many times i say brisbane and UQ?- like 3 of my closest friends are there. how lovely).

After that met marcus again at ting xuan's birthday chalet. No pictures though because i was like the maid, which was actually better than catching up with people i don't want to talk to. and i had to keep grace company. after that marcus dropped gracey home then we went for impromptu geylang dao huay and a movie. so i reached home at 5am. it was nice talking for like 3 hours non stop. reminding ourselves of the stupid things we did in secondary school.

and of course my besties.
went island hopping for grace's birthday, though it was a damn hot and sticky day. it was so nice just chatting. sometimes i feel that with the right people i can talk for 1 whole day, but with some, its just empty. i'm thankful for them always being with me, it makes all the difference when i know that they are there.

and hock. :)
my smelly boy. all the way in brisbane, actually i'm quite proud of him, settling all these by himself, and being strong. i do hope that we can last all the way. COME ON JAN! its actually quite difficult even after 2 years. i have to tune my mind right, so that i can't miss him too much.
and last but not least, my lovelies back in aussie. i know they are quite upset that i ain't going back for convo, but i promised i'll be back, because they have truly made a difference in my life.

janice. wish me luck and all the willpower in the world.

blogger is not listening to me.

janice. is this a sign? haha.

and here the rough patch begins, the first month of new environments. it seems so familar yet so distant. and i hate this.

seriously trying to keep my cool and being as understanding as i can get. i know that since there is so much on his mind, he tends to get really easily irritable and grumpy. but i know it will work out.

and the convo (my dad is such a typical Singaporean man) and finding work is really making me explode. its so difficult when i know i can't complain to him since his mood is bad. hopefully things will get better when he settles into his house.

i need to find back my meaning in life, rather than rot at home doing non stop array of random things because people assume that i have nothing to do, and thus i have no sickening time to send out my resumes.

Singapore is just gross. heat is gross. so i cut off my hair. people on public transport gross.

janice. its just so stifling. once you've experienced the breeze you'll want more. too bad for me.

maybe i'm getting too old for blogging, it doesn't seem to click with me anymore. or maybe its just the hassle of uploading, editing, niap niap niap.

ah whatever.

so much has happened since i left the good old perth. been lamenting to the whole world how much i wanna go back, but Singapore is still home. though every single day i complain about the heat and the persistent humidity. i was complaining to hock why isn't there global cooling instead of warming.

its been so much fun and tears since i came back. from the perth "hoilday" with hock, to spending time at home, going out, cooking together, ubin trips, flea with min that ended with a downpour, birthdays with my besties, hock leaving for brisbane (ben on friday too) and way too much more.

*photos on fb. :)

i miss the perth people way too much. but i miss the one in brissy more. 17 sept i'll be back in Perth.

its time to find a job. moolas.