Blogger is just pissing my life right off now. Its just so hard to get in and post my current annoyed mood (I’m typing this whole lot of crap in Microsoft word before my brain decides to vaporize them). Anyway.. continuing on.. the grad party was damn fun, clubbing was fun.. fine.. now I sound like a freaking noob. But seriously I don’t care.. haha.. I’ve thought over this freaking life I have. Why am I so sensitive to what others say about me? That frequent whisper behind my back. I DON’T WANT TO BOTHER ABOUT PEOPLE WHO HAVE NOTHING BETTER TO DO THAN LAUGH AT ME!!! I know that my alumnus are always joking.. and I was not angry with u guys. It was just an accumulation of stuff that made me pissed. But its all over now.. I’m over that totally! Haha.

Oh yes.. I sidetracked AGAIN. Hmm. A lot of really unexpected stuff happened though.. at the club I met QINQING!!! If u wanna know why she was there just go read her blog.. (Free advertisement!!) But it was really nice walking in and see her there. And I also met serena from sec school. And she was so surprised to see me. I was a freaking nerd in school, dear still claims I am la. Whatever!! Darn it. I should have taken her number. I really seem to miss some friends from sec school, especially from my lower sec class.. melody was not there.. working.. if fate allows.. maybe I’ll catch up with them before I leave ba. I seem to be rushing my whole life before I leave for overseas. Hai.. what an irony.. and I going to start a new life there? And come back to be the same Janice again?? Maybe not. MAYBE.

Dancing was fun.. meli is a great dancer and half way dancing, she looked at me and smiled : I can’t believe we are doing this!! (ok.. admit it.. initially I didn’t wanna dance.. but alcohol makes the brain go fuzzy. But I enjoyed it!) so I danced with tons of people. Erm let me see: meli, Janelle, grace, paul, hock (you can’t freaking dance la. Piece of wood.. forget about going to ‘bua chai’ la), dorothy, hui ling (vet science), lisa (she came!! With her sister, god knows why her pregnant sister came with her), ping ting, jed. Yup I think about it. Its fun to let go of all inhibitions to just be your true self for a moment. Janelle says I went wild. Haha.. they haven seen my wild side. *grins. Maybe its quite torturous to revert back but I got over that. Nightlife is seriously degrading on the body. Too much booze creates havoc in the liver.. Too much smoke in the lungs.

The hotel room stay was ok. That is all I’m going to say. I’ll upload the pics when Janelle sends me them.

Band was not bad yesterday.. please don’t let the nerves get them.. And I went with ben to the hospital to get his stupid wrist x- rayed. WHAT IS THE MATTER WITH MEN AND SOCCER!! The whole world gets injured.. dear.. hock.. norman... ben.. syafiq.. and the worse thing is the BIG men EGO.. its so difficult to get them to see a doc. Hai.. why am I worrying over the whole world. No wonder my hair is tuning white. SHIT!!!

Janice. *yawns

i shall stop whining about the boredoms of work. It seems to me that i've sort of transformed into a workaholic, though i'm not as bad as kaiyee. (talked to him online) but still i'm still stuck in the abyss. work just seems to keep piling, am i'm not stoping either. seems like another cat and mouse race which is probably to the power of infinity. When i proceed to uni, i guess this calling to studying might overpower me. its just hard to let go sometimes

janice

its lunch break... so bored.. SYF is coming in 20 plus days... this year i've be totally out-volved... its damn sad.. but work is so tiring!!! oh well... well Murdoch has given me an offer and i've accepted it... the final offer should arrive in a few weeks and then... i'll pay.. get my visa done... start packing.. and fly over in late july... yes.. however.. i won't announce when i'm leaving... i've never felt important.. so i guess its not very important for anyone to send me off... but i wanna have a nice gathering when i come back though... if there are tons of people sending me off.. i guess i don wanna leave anymore... my band.. my alumni.. my pals.. my friends..

hai... i'm waiting for my lunch to arrive.. tmr is grad party at gothem penthouse!! meli is not joining us... we should not pin too much hopes on anyone.... even ourselves.. i'm happy i still have grace and janelle

till then
janice

pissededededede

alright... i'm going to applogise for my vulgar language... I"M PISSED...

darn that guy (steven from VK lab) from the lab down the corridor.... FUCk it... we've been working here for 7 months and we always borrowed reagents from their lab... and the lab biologist usually would allow us to take it ourselves but we know that we must return it and make sure the fridge is closed... and when we went just now... he started yelling: i don't like strangers coming in and opening my fridge... like freak it.... it pissed me off... not as if they don come and borrow stuff... i really wanted to shout at him... and he said next time ask my supervisor to come... as him to GO TO HELLLLLLLL... as if my supervisor is as free as him... darn him........ I'm utterly pissed.... i wanna chop him.... even though i look like a small and sweet thing... don piss me off.... arrgh!!!!!!!!!

janice... i'm going to jab him with an aids needle.....

smoking

i'm only blogging now because blogger couldn't open at home last night.. weird... yesterday.. the journey home from the mrt was weird.. as i was playing music from my mp3 and walking.. and after i left the station, as tata young's song started blasted (i just randomly play everything) i walked towards a girl smoking.. i always like to observe people along the way.. and i still don understand why girls wanna smoke.. to me its like a super turn off.. maybe i'm wrong.. but thats just my opinion.. this girl had thick black eye liner... mouth piercings and smokes.. but something seemed familar... it was kelly.. from band... i didnt recongise her till she almost passed me.. but she didnt seem to care that i was looking at her.. she didnt acknowlege me.. oh well.. maybe people change... its just sad when people start smoking... its like death come crawling.. slowly.. unmercifully... my maternal grandpa died because of that small stick of chemicals... i hate the smell.. hate the smoked air... i hate everything about it......However.. i do like that new commercial on smoking... its looks realistic.. but i doubt it would have any effects on errand smokers... but moving on....... i just walked... looking at the birds stalking their next prey along the canal.... watch kids cycle and be dumb... dogs having their evening walk.... as i walked into my lane... the sun was setting.. the sunset was beautiful... orange and red fused with an amazing array of tones... as the song Longer by Dan Fogelberg was playing.. i felt peaceful... maybe i've been tired....

Longer than there've been fishes
in the ocean
Higher than any bird ever flew
Longer than there've been stars
up in the heavens
I've been in love with you.

Stronger than any mountain cathedral
Truer than any tree ever grew
Deeper than any forest primeval
I am in love with you.

I'll bring fires in the winters
You'll send showers in the springs
We'll fly through the falls and summers
With love on our wings.

Through the years as the firestarts to mellow
Burning lines in the book of our lives
Though the binding cracks and the
pages start to yellow
I'll be in love with you.

Longer than there've been fishes
in the ocean
Higher than any bird ever flew
Longer than there've been stars
up in the heavens
I've been in love with you
I am in love with you..

Janice..

alright... i'm bored... freaking bored at work.. waiting for my primers to arrive.. if u dunno whats a primer.. i don really care.. i'm bored....

janice... bleh

i'm at work now... just came back from lunch.. i've been cutting down eating unhealthy food and carbo.. well.. its quite sad being the center of mockery.. in primary school i was laughed at for being a monster.. my rashes made me look like a reptile.. it took me so hard to get over it and move on.. next was in secondary school.. i was fat.. i didnt feel i was obese.. but i was at the rim of being overweight.. after that i forced myself to be sick.. i ate only 1 meal a day... and i lost it... the extra baggage... i thought i was happy.. but i seemed to look sick... then dear made me eat... so here i am today.. still fat.. oh well...

everyday.. as people around me become more superficial... i become more sad.. i feel that i'm loosing my confidence.. my self esteem... i hate to look in the mirror.. i hate to ask myself why others can be termed beautiful... sometimes i question my heart.. am i superficial too?? can't i seek happiness for being myself??? but i can't.. cause everyone around me makes fun of my fat arms.. me being shorter than anything else... (its not my freaking fault being short man... if i didnt eat those medicine when i was young.. i would be dead.. burnt up and squashed in an urn)

i've been in a mood that makes me feel funny... i feel that its different now... i'm tired...

janice.. support the dove self esteem fund...

club?? maybe not

band camp went well.. i don have the mood to talk about it now.. the planning was good... and everything seemed to go well... good job and good luck.....

well.. i just recieved an email from grace.. she and janelle have been comtemplating if they wanna go for the applied science graduation party at gotham penthouse next month.. i know they don wanna go.. so i've decided to tell wen guang that we are not going.. well meli is involved doing some stuff with her cousin doing the photography... i hoped that i could go and see everyone for the last time before i go overseas.. but i guess i don wanna be stucked in a corner being all lonely and stuff while meli gets busy with her duties.. maybe i'm just writing this post to express my disappointment.. i don really care if its some clubbing thing.. sit down dinner or whatever.. but i guess its over.. good bye my poly friens.. may i see u in three years on the streets.. maybe by then my name would have been erased from your phone book...

janice.. work is boring.........

V3

okieeee... i'm bored... just a small update:



I've got an A for my major final year project!!!! but my gpa didnt go up much.. this is a sad case...



I've bought a new phone.. Motorola V3 Red... i'm waiting for the V3m to reach this land i call home.. so i can have an extendable memory... this one is puiny...

I must stop procratinating... i must get the alumni settled soon.. hai... darn busy...

thats it.....

janice

the road not taken

Wild daffodails.. (yellow wood)

The Road Not Taken by Robert Frost in 1916


Two roads diverged in a yellow wood,

And sorry I could not travel both

And be one traveler, long I stood

And looked down one as far as I could

To where it bent in the undergrowth;

Then took the other, as just as fair,

And having perhaps the better claim,

Because it was grassy and wanted wear;

Though as for that the passing there

Had worn them really about the same,

And both that morning equally lay

In leaves no step had trodden black.

Oh, I kept the first for another day!

Yet knowing how way leads on to way,

I doubted if I should ever come back.

I shall be telling this with a sigh

Somewhere ages and ages hence:

Two roads diverged in a wood,

and I took the one less traveled by,

And that has made all the difference.

A popular explanation of this poem is that it is a call for the reader to forge his or her own way in life and not follow the path that others have already taken.

There are some who suggest that the poem is, in fact, about how we recount our lives especially those events that we believe either reflect or shape our identities we confabulate, adding meaning to them. This means that we ourselves are the ones leading our lives to sorrow and regret, hindsight and grief.

Its time that we choose our paths.. will i regret what i choose today??? i'm leaving so much behind if i go overseas.. my band.. my friends.. my family.. my dear..

janice..........