i'm at work now... just came back from lunch.. i've been cutting down eating unhealthy food and carbo.. well.. its quite sad being the center of mockery.. in primary school i was laughed at for being a monster.. my rashes made me look like a reptile.. it took me so hard to get over it and move on.. next was in secondary school.. i was fat.. i didnt feel i was obese.. but i was at the rim of being overweight.. after that i forced myself to be sick.. i ate only 1 meal a day... and i lost it... the extra baggage... i thought i was happy.. but i seemed to look sick... then dear made me eat... so here i am today.. still fat.. oh well...

everyday.. as people around me become more superficial... i become more sad.. i feel that i'm loosing my confidence.. my self esteem... i hate to look in the mirror.. i hate to ask myself why others can be termed beautiful... sometimes i question my heart.. am i superficial too?? can't i seek happiness for being myself??? but i can't.. cause everyone around me makes fun of my fat arms.. me being shorter than anything else... (its not my freaking fault being short man... if i didnt eat those medicine when i was young.. i would be dead.. burnt up and squashed in an urn)

i've been in a mood that makes me feel funny... i feel that its different now... i'm tired...

janice.. support the dove self esteem fund...

club?? maybe not

band camp went well.. i don have the mood to talk about it now.. the planning was good... and everything seemed to go well... good job and good luck.....

well.. i just recieved an email from grace.. she and janelle have been comtemplating if they wanna go for the applied science graduation party at gotham penthouse next month.. i know they don wanna go.. so i've decided to tell wen guang that we are not going.. well meli is involved doing some stuff with her cousin doing the photography... i hoped that i could go and see everyone for the last time before i go overseas.. but i guess i don wanna be stucked in a corner being all lonely and stuff while meli gets busy with her duties.. maybe i'm just writing this post to express my disappointment.. i don really care if its some clubbing thing.. sit down dinner or whatever.. but i guess its over.. good bye my poly friens.. may i see u in three years on the streets.. maybe by then my name would have been erased from your phone book...

janice.. work is boring.........

V3

okieeee... i'm bored... just a small update:



I've got an A for my major final year project!!!! but my gpa didnt go up much.. this is a sad case...



I've bought a new phone.. Motorola V3 Red... i'm waiting for the V3m to reach this land i call home.. so i can have an extendable memory... this one is puiny...

I must stop procratinating... i must get the alumni settled soon.. hai... darn busy...

thats it.....

janice

the road not taken

Wild daffodails.. (yellow wood)

The Road Not Taken by Robert Frost in 1916


Two roads diverged in a yellow wood,

And sorry I could not travel both

And be one traveler, long I stood

And looked down one as far as I could

To where it bent in the undergrowth;

Then took the other, as just as fair,

And having perhaps the better claim,

Because it was grassy and wanted wear;

Though as for that the passing there

Had worn them really about the same,

And both that morning equally lay

In leaves no step had trodden black.

Oh, I kept the first for another day!

Yet knowing how way leads on to way,

I doubted if I should ever come back.

I shall be telling this with a sigh

Somewhere ages and ages hence:

Two roads diverged in a wood,

and I took the one less traveled by,

And that has made all the difference.

A popular explanation of this poem is that it is a call for the reader to forge his or her own way in life and not follow the path that others have already taken.

There are some who suggest that the poem is, in fact, about how we recount our lives especially those events that we believe either reflect or shape our identities we confabulate, adding meaning to them. This means that we ourselves are the ones leading our lives to sorrow and regret, hindsight and grief.

Its time that we choose our paths.. will i regret what i choose today??? i'm leaving so much behind if i go overseas.. my band.. my friends.. my family.. my dear..

janice..........

HAPPY V DAY... its a bit late.. hee

i'm tired
i didnt go out today
why go squeeze with people
quite sad at the moment
was quite happy
maybe its a sad song
maybe i have a sad life
maybes...

still.. SMILE...

dentist

i've just came back from the friggin dentist... he is quite a nice dentist.. as least it wasnt pain.... and dear has been yaking..' see la don brush ur teeth'... arrgh.. its not my fault.. hai.. bye bye $800.... and i've just done contact lens for events so that my make up won get stuck on my specs.. call me vain.. i'm a female... whatever...

life has been serioulsy GOOD.. everyone around me is having good karma... Meli has gotten a job at SIA.. whoo.. i am so happy for her.. its like her dream... but i'll miss her.. her training should be starting soon after the medical checkup is done... and i managed to convience her that $1200 is not that a low training pay... i guess after all this attachment and stuff.. i've grown up.. maybe i might wanna work.. but mummy says i must at least have a degree.. she didnt have one.. so she wants me to have one.. i love my mummy..

And i've got an offer by Curtin University... i'm still waiting for murdoch.. please.. hopefully i can go there.. if i had a chance.. i wanna redo my year 1 at poly.. all Ds and 2Fs.. damn sian.. last year was all Bs... if only i had seen it come... damn it.. So to all my juniors.. please don friggin slack in poly la.. u'll regret it when i comes... LOOK AT ME!!!!!! arrgh... taking about them.. i'm so glad norman and wilson passed their english Os.. i was a bit dissappointed that wilson only got a 6.. but i guess thats the best i could have given them.. at least its over.. and all my hard work didnt go down the drain...

i've been a bad alumni.. missing band.. hai.. my life seems to have clashed with band pracs.. but sometimes.. i like my current life.. i've given most of my youth to band.. just to mention i'm 20 this year!!! sacrificed alot of time.. my life was given to the band.. seemed that i signed a blood contract.. however.. it saddens me that its always the few of us doing the main things.. when will the younger ones step up?? or maybe were we holding on to our invisible posts too tightly?? maybe in some way i wanted to give up everything.. i can no longer understand my juniors.. but after thinking about this matter while bathing the other day.. i remembered why we are there at band pracs.. slogging our lives under the sun for nothing much than a 'thank you'...

the 2006 syf.. i remembered.. before hui xin and wei yuan marched off.. i spoked to them.. they were so nervous. i just said: ' don think about letting the band, alumni, school or mr poh down if u don play well for the solo later, just clear ur mind and let ur fingers play' and hui xin just replied me with a stunned look " How did you know i was think about that?" ... it didnt affect me till after they performed.. i was marching before.. i did a duet with ben.. i was at the freaking position.. i was nervous.. i didnt have a senior to talk to me bore i stepped out.. and that was what was going through my brain..

now.. i know our existence.. truly.. not just talking about it.. its our experience.. the hard fact.. we did it before... i've blazed the sun.. maybe if u want me to do it again.. i might not be able to do as much without a senior... so.. today.. i decicate this post to all the alumni... i learnt from everyone.. props... uniform.. music.. formation.. logistics.. camps.. practice... THANK YOU ALL..

Janice... missing the good old blazing days... HAPPY LUNAR NEW YEAR IN ADVANCE!!!

Jing Ying BD

Last saturday... we went to Shang wei's baby daughter's birthday party.. she is sooooo cute!!!! hahha... and we bought her an octopus that plays music when u press the tentacles.. haha.. there was even a score behind.. so fun.. and a found a big secret .. muahaha.. Jie Yu wanted to prevent us from knowing.. but her little brother blew the wistle on her.. her family was at the party too.. cause shang wei and her family come from the same church.. haha.. small world... so here is a recap.... Yao Zong drove hock and i there after we went to but the present.. IN A BMW.... wah.. cool right?? yao zong drives damn cool man.. i was impressed.. his driving was so steady.. yao zong rocks man!!! Let the party begin.. the little girl with the giraffe is shang wei's eldest daughter.. she looks so like her daddy.. and she is so sweet.. feeding her sister.. haha..

HAPPY BITHDAY to JING YING.....
Famiy photo.... what a happy family....
Let the birthday gal cut cake!!!! The cake was so big and creamy... SINFUL!!!

Ah hock and i....Jie Yu and i.. yao zong left early for dinner.. so sad.. oh.. not to mention.. i also met Shang wei's previous students from JC.. now in NUS.. hai.. clever people...

BABY AND ME!!!!! so cute.. she was distracted by something la.. but so nice to hug...

janice...

tarts

LAST CALL FOR MY PINEAPPLE TARTS!!!!

SIP party

i'm almost done with that mind bogging MP report.. feeling quite sad that i've been missing band.. but farzana says everyone is mugging exams... MUAHAHAH... janice has NO exams!!! ah hock is enjoying his butt watching Singapore VS thailand at the stadium... but oh well.. i hope he is having fun.. we won anyway.. haha.. cool...

My di tingxuan just rode on his motor just now to pass me my overdue birthday present.. i seem to have lost touch with the world these 5 months.. but the thing is.. he looked damn cool la.. but i don dare to ride la.. it looks scary... maybe one day.. i'll overcome...

thanks to ah hock.. i've gotten my pics for the parties at IMCB.. one for ma ming graduating with his post doc and another to welcome the new professor...

Family photo clockwise from back left: yao zong, shang wei, hock, jie yu and me!!!!

same people at our lab bench... see.. so many people squeezing...

And us at our slacking corner.. haha....

Let the party begin.. whoo.. food...

Dr Jiang, me and my sister!!!

The scholar and 2 trying hard.. hai...

ah hock and yao zong.. using the PCR machine to dry their hands.. haha...
Ma Ming's party... more FOOOD!!!! All the female student assistants....
ah hock trying VERY hard to look like a king.. erm... hahaha (he is going to kill me for posting this pic!!)

Okie.. thats about it... gotta go wash the bowls and get up early tmr.. i'm heading to the gym!! whee....

janice.. getting fat

22nd month

yesterday was our 22nd month anniversary.. and dinner was on our list.. love u dear!!! On the bus to parkway... haha..
I was trying to talk to dr lim on the phone.. and he poked my eye... with his chopstick
and picked up my face...
Bento set.. we didnt finish it in the end.. too full...

Ramen... dear gave me a serving.. small bowl= mine.. big bowl= dear's...

okie.. gotta rush to school..