the field.. the people.. the music.. the love

its a new day today.. i just wanted to blog... nothing much to say.. but gave tuition today.. those boys were still as irritating as ever.. haha... i guess somethings don't change.. oh well.. i guess sometimes.. even meaningless stuff make you a bit happier than you were..

Just read milubing's blog.. glad they did great today.. another 37/40.. but i guess a new wave of critisims will come again.. some people are just weird la.. haha Singaporeans.. dunno whats in their brains.. maybe these type of idol searching shows are part of reality tv.. i guess.. their band really reminds me of the titans.. just that our 9 months of hard work are placed down on 8 minutes on the field.. sometimes.. looking back.. i really wonder how we did it.. its really an amazing journey.. i will always remember what my trumpet section did for me in 2004.. it was really a heart warming thing the glued together with love and effort.. here goes:

"Our dearest Mummy"

Janice

You are just like a mother to all of us

A special person who carried us in your "womb"

For 7 months

You gave us your fullest care and utmost attention

You held our hands tight and walked us through ups and downs

Neverterless you always think of us before yourself

We salute you with our deepest appreciation

Therefore, the trumpet section 04

would like to thank you for being such an excellent senior

This present is to show our heartfelt thanks

Muacks!!!

Trumpet section 2004

well.. i guess this was the best present i've ever recieved from the members.. i guess i was appreciated.. like someone told me.. where ever you go.. its where you are appreciated where you are the most happy..

i just took the present out to glance.. yet all those memories of the past just came zooming back... the field.. the people.. the music.. the love....

Janice...

long time no see

haha.. I wanted to update this rotting thing a long time ago.. I guess this needs commitments too...

The Syf was over.. time passes so fast.. i was really happy to see 1 bus of alumni.. THANK YOU GUYS!!! for everything you people have put in.. from preparations to moral support to SCREAMING!!! Thank you once again.... I guess it was a good competition.. its over.. so i won't put more talk into the technical aspects.. but i guess still in one way or another the band really wanted to go to the finals... hoping to stay together... but reality still looms... the titans will live in our hearts.. carved in our minds forever...

Balloon hat was great too.. we were champions for choreography.. cool ya?? haha... i bet everyone had great fun... again.. i have to thank my alumni again.. from helping then do the balloon hats last min.. for taking care of the sick.. for going back to collect the certs and other stuff like WATER... and the list goes on and on... THANKS...

Well.. i really dunno how to settle alumni practice.. i guess i was not informed about the NBC merger with the main band... well i finally found out from jack when i happened to meet him.. i guess sometimes the information does not go up... i'll arrange for prac asap.. but sometimes the logistics is like hell.. hai.. i know everyone is asking for prac.. and sometimes i'm not doing anything... i wonder how much can i do... i just wonder....

Getting back to happier stuff... the alumni chalet... i'll post more pics on my online photo alubum when i get to school.. house comp is totally too slow...i guess everyone had fun with the giantic ant flies or whatever they are.. and the BBQ in the rain.. had tons of leftovers.. oh well.. in summary.. it was exciting.. fun for all the alumni to watch the video at the same time...we were screaming once more... let the happiness linger around before it slowly disappears..

The Mjc concert was also quite cool... just that everyone had comments about the female emcee.. oh well.. wonderful job...

Lastly.. i guess.. my life is freakin busy with projects and tests... term tests just ended.. whoo.. i'm seriously glad its over.. had a mini gathering with meli, grace, kevin, niang and dr lim.. had a great talk and dinner.. and we have fun in the BMW.. haha.. thanks dr lim.. its nice to have a cp like him.. but some people just take him for granted.. sad...

life with dear has been great.. no major quarrels till now.. may we live happily ever after yadayadayada.. blablabla.. haha... well.. dear cousin in in superband.. MILUBING.. haha.. wonderful band.. my titans still rock...watch superband and vote for them k?? haha... good luck guys...

oh well.. its time to get ready for tuition.. zzzz.. haha.. oh well.. may i bring life to this decomposing blog...

Janice... ;)

USELESS!!!!!

well... i want to live a happy life... a simple request... yet hard to achieve

i was just named useless yet again in my life... the other time was by my physics teacher who i utterly hate to the core... but still due to my sister's patience.. i managed to ace it in prelims... but now.. haiz.. i don't know how should i put it... Kenrick said pointing his index finger at me: YOUR ALUMNI IS USELESS! hmm... sometimes i wonder.. how is useless really defined.. usually people use it in the context that they are in... not considering the past... in this case.. i dont really feel that my alumni members are useless... to kenrick they are useless on the field as they dont pressurize the members enough.. but how much is enough?? scolding?? shouting?? staring?? what is enough?? life is such a simple word.. but yet so hard to define... well.. back to the main thing... sometimes i wonder... if the alumni ceased to exist.. what would happen?? we have learned to be over complacent in life... only when you lose then the meaning of cherish would be pierced deeply in the heart... i guess that when we lower the expectations we learn to be happier with things... i don't want too much anymore.. its tiring to have such high expectations... even when i succeed.. i will never be happy... i have learnt how to let go... maybe daniel is right.. i should take yoga.. learn the art to relaxation.. take things easy... but sometimes its hard when people come screaming down at you for no reason.. but this is life.. a part and parcel of it... it sucks... but i want to be happy.. taking things easy...

Janice... happiness

life... hmm

well life has been rather stressful lately... rushing all the uniform and stuff has been really crazy... but it should be able to work out.. i just remembered that i write about my trip to the science center the other day with my dear to view the star wars exhibition... it was quite good... though i was really tired of standing... well i guess it was quite fun after all....

This is the water park there...

Some minature star wars characters.... i love Yoda

Another month and school would reopen.. my results were fine... at least i'm slowly improving.. but because i didnt do well last time.. my GPA is still very low.. but i guess there is no time for regrets...

Well.. i hope that the alumni's attitude does change a bit.. its quite sad la.. haiz... they don report anything to the committee and i have to ask them then something comes out... oh well.. maybe i have to talk more to them.. yup.. that shall be my new goal.....

Janice.....

Camp

I've been trying so hard to pen these words, but yet today i summed up the courage to remind myself of the ardous journey i have chozen.

The band camp was really 'exciting' with bad things happening one after another.. the band members puked one after another and everytime of the day.. i really pitied wilson and yong zhen who had to do the cleaning... it was really quite bad. But.. i guess the alumni created most of the trouble... haiz... first the attitude.. it all started with 5 plates of innocent rice... sounds lame.. but yes.. the story begins: Daniel, khairul, Gim kai, Farzana and I were trying to connect the video cam to the AVA system in the AVA room ( this also caused another problem...) and the rest were dining at the canteen. Syafiq called to ask if we were eating.. i told him to continue first and keep food for us. Usually the members on food duty would put 15 plates of rice on the table.. but by the change of luck i guess.. they decided to serve only those at the table first and then the rest later.. however.. when we came down there was only 1 plate of rice on the table.. and Syafiq just said: we didnt leave rice for you all.. i was at fault for not listening to syafiq's explanation.. but when i questioned the duty in charge they said that no one reminded them that there was a short of 5 plates and hui xin also told me that when se went to ask the alumni table if there was enough food no one gave a damn about her. i was really dissapointed... it was their lack of care and concern that made me break down. and when i asked syafiq.. he yelled at me as if i was in the wrong... ( he apologised for not controlling his temper).... and i walked away... and i broke down.. i guess really no one in this alumni respects me... i was really tired... when we came back i decided to talk to everyone.. as i guessed so (which was correct) that they felt that i was weeping because of a fu**ing plate of rice.. and when Gim Kai touched on the topic of respect i broke down again... its a small matter.. yet the accumulation of this disrespect finally tore me down... its been a long time since i cried so bad in public... long long time.. Yet this is not the most saddening part of it all.... when stephanie came later.. she asked some of them why i was crying and yet they said AIYAH SOME LAME THING LA... what the hell la... after talking so much and yet the feel that i am kicking up a big fuss.. at that moment i really wish i could just walk off... it was like a release... yet i decided not too...

Well.. after that went quite ok.. the alumni practice went quite well.. and the band improved alot on the field.. To start another mess we made.... it was about the AVA room... we could not connect the video cam.. so we decided to try to connect it to the projector... but the projector room was locked... but there was an opening on the wall where the projector light was to come out from.. hence after some diliberation.. Khairul and Qizheng climbed in to open the door... so that the members could watch the video... finally we got things working and the band watched the video. But things got messy when the IT support came in and saw the projector door open and started to shout at everyone in the room. Then after Mr Poh told him to go to the teachers.. he told Mdm Leong that there were things missing from the room.. but he didnt even go up to check at all!! when he came in the second time.. then he went up to check.. and when he came down we asked him what things were missing... and he said.. the person holding on to the list of items was not around.. it can only be checked on monday!!!! it irked me!!! he wanted to make a police report ofr break in.. hence Mr Poh told norman to own up.. i didnt want to let norman be the scape goat... but i guess there was no choice as other people dont know the involvement of the alumni in the band... when Mdm Nava came to question us after she spoke to the IT support guy.. she was very angry.. i knew that we were wrong to break in... but the sliding door for the projector should have been locked to prevent this thing from happening.. yet they did not lock it.. it could be seen how lazy the IT team was.. as if they locked the sliding panel.. anyone that wants to use the AVA would have to consult them.. so they didnt lock it to cut workload... coming back... he actually told Mdm Nava that we climbed to the roof and went through the air con duct to get in... my god!! he watches too much action movies... if i had to do that i would rather beg him to open the door.. madness... it was really crazy to have such people around... it was really a close shave that there was no report made.. but i guess we have been blacklisted.. but i'm glad that the teachers understand that we did it for the band and nothing else...

The last thing that happened was Quammar's grandma passed away after slipping into a coma.. i guess he was really close to his grandma.. but i understand that feeling..... its so near yet so far....

Janice... its time

BAND!!!!

well.. to continue this from the beginning since i left it off.. Ben has left for australia and left this mess to me... well.. at least the alumni is coming together now.. just that the Ping yi people stivk together while the Springfield people stick together.. its kinda sad that way.. i've been talking to each and everyone of them and everyone has different views... i need to get a common view... a common goal.. this is a tough month... but i'm still fighting.. i must win this....

well... now more recent stuff.. the alumni that were free helped to mark the field at Ping Yi yesterday and the day before.. well.. the Sun was surely blazing... and my neck and ears are burnt.. well.. when we were finishing up yesterday.. some football players came... they were really understanding and allowed us to complete it before they started playing.. i salute them for their patience.. well... they asked me... ' you all do so long got pay anot' then i said no... well.. i don mind being burnt and tired... (many of my alumni got sick and stuff) but the thing is that at least i wanna hear a sincere Thank You.. not that we must be gratified but just a simple thanks... but instead.. we got a ticking off.. i agree that we were slow because to many of us including me.. we have never done this before.. and yet those who come down to 'supervise' us criticized us for the wrong things we did.. i feel very dissappointed... i mean we are still people.. there must be a reason that we come back to do stuff for the band... there must be a sort of power that pushes us on... but i guess we have to be humble in some ways..

not to pick a fight and toss it out of the head and once the day is over its gone...

Janice.. off for band

i will fight this myself.. i can.. i will.. i must

Alumni has been taking some toll on my life.. I woke up to reality when kai yee said that i should 'don't care' abount the alumni. No one really knows how tired and mentally fatigue I am running this so called dream of having an alumni. Is it really my dream?? If not then whose it is... i feel that its no more my dream.. its my challenge... its my alumni...

Today.. i understood something... if no one wants to support this alumni.. i will... if no one wants to help me.. i will help myself.... I really wonder where is the integrity of these committee members who don't even help out.. well.. i will never know... where are those so called 'professional' alumni that say i'm not 'professional enough' Where are those freaking idiots that dare to say that about me behind my back without having the damn courage to say it in my face!!!!!!!!! Well... i'm throughly pissed....

i will not force those who do not wish to commit to stay in the committee... i'll rather have some people that are willing to help but don't know how to than those who are not willing... i would rather put all my effort to make this successful... i not only need to... i want to... Kenrick has done lots for this alumni... And i've spoken to Mr James Tan... well.. i will explain it out face to face to all my alumni very soon.. but still i would need to reorganize myself into battle mode and fight this battle alone.. i need support.. but those who i thought i can rely on have decided to quit the committee...

i will fight this myself... i can do it.... i will do it.... i must do it

Janice

today is really a very depressing day to start with.. with loads of tests and assignments to complete today.. i managed to scrap pass unhurt to a certain extent... its quite tiring to study in a polytechnic.. i feel that i haven really grown up since my secondary school days yet i seem to have matured in my thinking.. i still feel weird... well coming back to today.. i feel that its quite sad that we didnt manage to go to Dr Lim's house.. and i felt quite dejected that when i brought the sour plum jelly i made to school.. some of my classmates sad 'eee' at the sight of it and said it tasted weird... my eldest sis loved it.. and it was my first attempt making this flavour... could they have spared a thought at my feelings?? even though i didnt show it.. i was deeply hurt.... hiaz.. oh well.. and no one wanted to eat it... i'm glad that Dr lim ate them....

well.. tmr there is band and alumni meeting.. i doubt that it may be possible to enter the national band competition.. but i'll just it a shot... but the instruments are really a big problem...

i've got to get back to my projects....

Janice.. zoomz off

the year of the dog is here

life has been so routine and mundane that its getting boring... well.. its been the worse chinese new year that there has ever been.. life seems so different now.. the air is irritable to the extent of suffocating me.. maybe because this year my grandpa is no longer around... well life goes on.. theres lots of cooking tomorrow.. i'm tired....

Janice.. a weird year ahead

my life has not been getting better...

projects are pilling up... and i'm getting stressed.. exams are coming.. this year is going to be tough... i really dunno what will i face.. its like i have not been studying hard.. or shall i say that i have been slogging my life all for exams... and after the paper i just forget about it... now den i realise that i've been wrong all this while....

The open house was quite fun.. i kept playing with Miss Dino's cat.. Nigel.. haha.. he is so cute and tame... he loves the company of people and he ate out of my hand... haha.. so cute... he has an aircon room to sleep in man.. such a wonderful life... i love that little stinky thing.. Miss Dino says she will bathe him soon.. too busy with open house.. glad that its over..

i brought some korean uni students around too during the open house... they are really so different from us.. not my perception of a uni student.. but it was a great exposure... welll.. i don have the mood to type any more.. so off i go....

Janice.. bye