whats so special about our relationship? we can have tons of relationships. kin. friends. acquantances. classmates. schoolmates. partners.

i know i'm a bitch. no better than anyone else i criticise. i can get cunning, scheming, evil to get what i want. i can plot in my head to achieve what i want.

i think i really really have fallen deep into somewhere where i have no idea whats going on. everything seems like a blur. relationships build and shatter.

i might have lost myself. i am so tired. so so tired.

whats wrong with wanting to be loved? sometimes we try so hard to grasp what we think we want. when what we need is right before us.

like jules ws reading from her script. we spend more time choosing our enemies than lovers and we have enemies for life but no lovers for life.

we can hate someone for life, but can we put in the effort to love someone for the rest of our lives?

its time to put some food for thought..

i hate hypocritical people. who seemingly behave so immature to me. people who are on the pretext of being nice. have scarstic remarks and underlying motives.

do not think that my world will change due to these pictures.

chaos theory.

chaos theory describes the behavior of certain nonlinear dynamical systems that may exhibit dynamics that are highly sensitive to initial conditions (popularly referred to as the butterfly effect). As a result of this sensitivity, which manifests itself as an exponential growth of perturbations in the initial conditions, the behavior of chaotic systems appears to be random.

janice. i hate what facebook and friendster shows me.

.I AM FULL OF HATE.

i have a SHIIITTTT load of photos from week break..

yeah i'm so regretting not doing well for my test and group assignment. Screw this. its time to move on and do better.

26 March- South Beach and Fremantle Prison Torchlight Tour

We met in the afternoon and drove to south beach.. ITS MY FIRST TIME TO THE BEACH!! and i was bleeding.. arrgh

so beautiful!! crisp and clean waters... blue skies... what a pictorial scene
Min and I... we didn't have a beach mat.. so we used the car reflector.. haha.. queens of improvisation...
since the water was so nice.. i decided to take out my pad (in the case it become waterlogged) and jump in since the water tension will keep the blood in... ahaha.. the process of taking its out in the middle of the beach.. was damn funny and gross. so thou shall not mention detailsthe "chee" musketeers.. hahahhaa picture for the gals...
and a pic for the guys...

haha.. daniel stood up to have a better look.. what a horny dude.. min being her hyper self.. with wilford assisting in effects.. hahah..SEAGULS!! damn annoying.. we gave them a gummy worm.. which they thought was a real worm.. and no one wanted to eat it!!some china dudes.. haha.. its was such a gay sight... some sort of bay watch?? we were laughing so loud that it seemed a bit evil.
so the bored people started a task.. make jules into a man with 1 boob and a huge dick and 2 balls.. hahah..
so sexciting!!!
daniel moulding the dick.. while i'm working on the boob.. min was obsessed with jules' boobs.. haha.. the real ones under the sand..
there!!!! we were famous for 5 mins.. cause her dick sort of acted like some sundial that people just can miss when u look out into the sea.. haha...

jules giving her dick (and balls) a .............
then we moved on to have dinner.. fish and chips..
min drove around the car park..
and wilford drove to have fish and chips!! after dinner.. we drove to the freo prison car park and waited for "our time".. we had to make prior bookings..
min with her drug...
its time to serve our time.. cb.. damn freeky........ the whole tour was pitch black with only 1 torch given.. our guide julia who is also jules' part time lecturer...the daily routine of the prisoners.. and some guy jumped to suicide.. and they had so much pranks along the way. i was fucking sticking to wilford like a fly..
scary shit...
they had painting painted along the walls of the courtyard for tourism.. seems like i walked into prison break set...a dude that wore stripes got spanked.. hahah..
half way.. a "prisoner" that was in self confinement? burst out from his cell.. (its quite a wonder how these actors can stay inside a dark cell in a creepy haunted place like this.. )a dude that was acting as a prisoner that managed to escape from prison 987654321 times.. and he fucking freaked jules and i out.. cause he just burst out of the door.. and kicked some bucket.. and it cause so much noise that we both screamed.. the gallows....the forms of cells through the time,, we had so many pics.. but just decided to upload one..and a very sweet and very sad msg on the wall:

"julie, megan and todd. I love you more that life itself. Love dad"

the chapel.. which some prisoners choose to get married in and what our guide said was that marriage was also a form of life sentence.. ahahahaa..

one last look at the prison..

* if u guys see any orbs and and thing caught in the photos.. don't tell me.. i'll pee in my pants..

27th March - Potluck Dinner

tons of food.. thanks to everyone for coming and bringing food!!
zac.. cliff.. drea and jon..
wah.. spot jon who is trying so hard to act cute and be extra.. haha.. the lovey dovey couple..
min's vodka jelly... ~~~ so strong.. we added way too much vodka..
28th March- Mambo night at Metro City Club

pre drinks at home...my lovely with me... the babes...baby daniel on duty with min (very very hyper and high)...
jules and drea going into forbidden grounds.. and they got yelled at.. hahaha..

jules, I and jay.. thanks for taking care of me!! i got pissed drunk.. drank 4 shots at one go.. and an assortment of another 6 drinks.. i had a throbbing headache..
joel, joel, jon, me, cliff.. thanks guys for buying drinks..
met gwen at the toilet.. haha..

janice.. it was a blast.. and my neck aches now.. i spent 1 and a half hr blogging..

GO READ


and i thought was was unlucky.. these people are worse.


janice.. basking in the air of sympathy. life is such an ironic thing.

its all alright now..


i know its not hock's fault.. and i still trust him fully.. it was just damn annoying to begin with..


imagine~~~~


you are having ur period.. (guys try thinking u are bleeding from ur dick- hows that?? hahaha... for all the inconsiderate boyfriends during your girlfriend's terrible menstruation period-ing period!!)


* jules.. yeah.. my english is A1.. hahaha. i bet u are impressed with my wundaful spelling n porper grammer.. ahaha..


damn... i digressed again...


Continuing from periods...


having period and you miss your other half like hell.. "due to the fact that" (wahhhh.. my english is power..) you are 5 hours and 2 thousand plus miles apart..


then.


then..


then...


you discover in horror of those photos on his friendster.


what will you do??


1. smile and just push it away pretending you didn't see it and start "mooping" about it later in the day?
2. print the photos out and cut out her/her pictures?
3. cry and blog about it and share the anger?




but.. seriously.. i really don't understand whats her bloody problem.. but i'm just going to ignore her.. cause if her f**king main purpose is to make me breakdown.. she got it.. so fuck her..


i guess my relation with hock isn't so fragile that we will be torn apart due to some bloody face- face photos.


i trust you when you said you did nothing. i did.


when i said i'm sorry for blaming him. all he said was:

" I understand cause you love me. and i love you too. i promise it
will never happen again. i'm sorry"

so sweet.. my heart melted..


so i had a very very happy night


with the happiest people


no sulking people


no shouting


so orders


just plain HAPPINESS..


gelare on a cold night was super shiok.. singing our national anthem and other singapore songs at the top of our voices with open windows while driving in the suburbs was so funnnnn... (sugar high).. and more and more wonderful huggsss.


janice.. its going to be a great day today too.. i know it!!
(and ur not invited. humph!)

Follow up::

so what should I (your True Love 's GF) say?


it seems that i'm in the wrong. fuck all this shit.. i wash my hands off this affair even though it concerns me.

what i don't know won't hurt me. and i'm not angry. i'm hurt. heartbroken cause i love u too much.


can't anyone just god damn it understand??

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

maybe you don't need me anymore.Yvonne Posted
03/23/2008 9:42 pm
Enjoyed ur company as always! Thanks, TL!

*tl= true love.

why does your ex have to be like that? "Happy birthday" to her anyway...

why let me see this when i'm so vunerable? or am i just a tad to sensitive?

i wanna smash all the beer bottles wilford finished drinking. but thats all imaginary.

janice.. this is all shit... Fuck the tears.. cheebye...

no words can mention how much pain it was holding back the tears.. trying so damn hard not to cry in zac's car..


sorry min.. and jules.. and zac.. (who seemed oblivious to my sniffles and speechless ride back)


i miss my boyfriend. the person who gives me comfort in everything thing i do. he always seems so selfless. darn. i feel like an idiot now.


it always feels so terrible when i can't have time to spare to just talk to him on the phone. when i know that he is waiting 2 thousand miles away just holding his phone. i feel so bad not calling.


one bloody day without his voice i feel so lost so..... empty inside.


his texts always make my day.


his voice makes me settled.


our relatioship hasn't been a pot of gold at the end of the rainbow. but it has been steady.


" suddenly i feel like laughing. its quiite funny that people still use the term 'steady' for their partners. "


which reminds me of my cousins. its quite weird that since we are getting older. its quite hard to adjust to the fact that my cousins are going out of sec school soon. and its weird to me. Maybe i just deny the fact of being old.


i guess i've also been spoilt by my family for being the baby in the family.


spoilt by my hubby (whom i also spoil..)


spoilt by myself.


janice.. i feel very much in love. though love brings pain.

Saturday.. a fire broke out.. YES.. a real fire.. NEXT DOOR...
and i just grabbed my lappy and my passport and my wallet... instead of jules who just took her cigs.. hahaha..


smoke was coming into our flat with michelle doing her best to break our door down.. but yeah.. everything is fine...


I'M NOT BURNT!!!


and.. my flat is fine too.. just that the burnt flat's kitchen is gone.. apparently.. someone left a POT OF OIL on the stove..



how intelligent... and yes.. it burned.. with the party people all missing... so only 2 people in the flat woke up to a smoking flat.. THATS FOR MAKING SO MUCH NOISE EVERY PARTY YOU HAVE!!!

oh well.. pics taken of the flat (inside) after the fire.. yeah.. it was burnt.. the cellings were black...

janice.. i need my incubator..