i will fight this myself.. i can.. i will.. i must

Alumni has been taking some toll on my life.. I woke up to reality when kai yee said that i should 'don't care' abount the alumni. No one really knows how tired and mentally fatigue I am running this so called dream of having an alumni. Is it really my dream?? If not then whose it is... i feel that its no more my dream.. its my challenge... its my alumni...

Today.. i understood something... if no one wants to support this alumni.. i will... if no one wants to help me.. i will help myself.... I really wonder where is the integrity of these committee members who don't even help out.. well.. i will never know... where are those so called 'professional' alumni that say i'm not 'professional enough' Where are those freaking idiots that dare to say that about me behind my back without having the damn courage to say it in my face!!!!!!!!! Well... i'm throughly pissed....

i will not force those who do not wish to commit to stay in the committee... i'll rather have some people that are willing to help but don't know how to than those who are not willing... i would rather put all my effort to make this successful... i not only need to... i want to... Kenrick has done lots for this alumni... And i've spoken to Mr James Tan... well.. i will explain it out face to face to all my alumni very soon.. but still i would need to reorganize myself into battle mode and fight this battle alone.. i need support.. but those who i thought i can rely on have decided to quit the committee...

i will fight this myself... i can do it.... i will do it.... i must do it

Janice

today is really a very depressing day to start with.. with loads of tests and assignments to complete today.. i managed to scrap pass unhurt to a certain extent... its quite tiring to study in a polytechnic.. i feel that i haven really grown up since my secondary school days yet i seem to have matured in my thinking.. i still feel weird... well coming back to today.. i feel that its quite sad that we didnt manage to go to Dr Lim's house.. and i felt quite dejected that when i brought the sour plum jelly i made to school.. some of my classmates sad 'eee' at the sight of it and said it tasted weird... my eldest sis loved it.. and it was my first attempt making this flavour... could they have spared a thought at my feelings?? even though i didnt show it.. i was deeply hurt.... hiaz.. oh well.. and no one wanted to eat it... i'm glad that Dr lim ate them....

well.. tmr there is band and alumni meeting.. i doubt that it may be possible to enter the national band competition.. but i'll just it a shot... but the instruments are really a big problem...

i've got to get back to my projects....

Janice.. zoomz off