well.. its been some time since i blogged... that means i've been busy... haha... life has been quite miserable lately.. since my sis got her new job, i've been doing 80% of the house work on top of whatever that i have been doing.. sianz... oh well.. i'll just take it as a form of exercise.. being positive helps a little... haha... i'm also suffering from withdrawal symtoms... 1 week of no band is killing me... i cant stand it... arrgh.. however... i've already finished the initial designs of the new improved band uniforms.... haha... surprise surprise... no one is going to peek at them till the next meeting... haha... ( hint... Kenrick.. please dont cancel this sat's meeting.... haha) the designs are currently with my dearest 'azzah.. haha.. my drawing sux to the core.. so 'azzah and her bf ridzwan are doing the drawing for me... haha.. that takes loads off my mind....
Now... the next thing to concentrate is norman's N' level english... well... i've been teaching him for some time now... i think abt 1 month.... and his paper is on mon... he has improved a little.. but its up to him if he wants to pass his paper well... i'm aiming at least a C5 for him... i know he should be able to do it... hahaz....
well... i've been working a little too this week... cause there is a fair so my workplace asked me if i could work.... ya.. so i'm quite tired this week with work and tuition for norman and doing band stuff... but i'll be able o get through... yeah..
Dear has been sad too... we haven gone out for some time le... he is busy with work too.. haha... when he is free... i'm not vice versa... so we have both been sulking for the past week... ( arrgh... i just saw i freaking big aedes mosquito...freak it) i miss my dear.. hearing his voice every night makes me feel better....
Oh yes.. just a little update on my results.. ya i managed to pass all this sem.. whee... but mostly all C grade.. haiz...
Communication Skills for appiled science: Distinction
Introduction to Psychology: B+
Plant Cell Technology: C+
Biochemistry II: C
Molecular Genetics: C
Fundamentals of Pathology: D+
Applied Immunology: D
Yup.. this is my results.. i think i did quite ok for the mani paper.. but because of the term test and the quizes... i pulled my grades down.... i'll study harder next sem... i can do it!!!
Janice... ending on a high note
Wednesday, September 28, 2005
Sunday, September 18, 2005
Taking the first step ahead
today is a tiring day man... whoo... i'm tired.. didnt slp last night... was thinking of the band uniform stuff... when the engine is on.. haha.. can't stop.. so ive got new ideas after looking at some online material... haha.. i'm still sourcing for a person who can draw well to aid me.. mum is too busy to help.. maybe 'azzah ba... hope she is free... i'll call her soon.. after all my freaking ideas are concrete.. den must find talior and professional hat makers.. haha... get quotations... asap... whoo.. thats quite some things to settle..
alumni is almost settled.. just financially strapped a bit.. as we need to get reeds and stuff... quite stressed lately.. hope i will get the uniform designs out soon... i'm excited about what is in the future... i meet my dear today for dinner... he went to gym with ziwei, chun wai and ash... haha...i have been neglecting him like hell for the past week due to band stuff... but he is understanding la.. he sulks.. but he won get angry.. bought an xbox game with him that day.. haha.. he was like a kid... and i bought harry potter book today... ben says its kiddy... well maybe i'll move on to other genres after i finish... haha.. i never really liked reading too much thou... oh well.. gotta start some where....
i've been doing house work till my hands hurt... hand washed the clothes today... washed the toilet and cleaned the kitchen... i'm really tired... but i just can't sleep with so many things on my mind.. I've been really glad that Ben has been here even though he has his exams in 2 days... i dunno how i will cope if i were him.. but... haha... i'm not him.. haha...
oh well... i've oso gotta give norman last minute english tuition for his N's... looking at it... i think i can make him pass.. but he has to work hard la.. its no so easy as in english.. its all unexpected stuff.... and i also need to ralk to wei yuan.. his attitude in band is... dissapointing... well i guess i'll be able to settle that....
Janice has taken the first step ahead....
alumni is almost settled.. just financially strapped a bit.. as we need to get reeds and stuff... quite stressed lately.. hope i will get the uniform designs out soon... i'm excited about what is in the future... i meet my dear today for dinner... he went to gym with ziwei, chun wai and ash... haha...i have been neglecting him like hell for the past week due to band stuff... but he is understanding la.. he sulks.. but he won get angry.. bought an xbox game with him that day.. haha.. he was like a kid... and i bought harry potter book today... ben says its kiddy... well maybe i'll move on to other genres after i finish... haha.. i never really liked reading too much thou... oh well.. gotta start some where....
i've been doing house work till my hands hurt... hand washed the clothes today... washed the toilet and cleaned the kitchen... i'm really tired... but i just can't sleep with so many things on my mind.. I've been really glad that Ben has been here even though he has his exams in 2 days... i dunno how i will cope if i were him.. but... haha... i'm not him.. haha...
oh well... i've oso gotta give norman last minute english tuition for his N's... looking at it... i think i can make him pass.. but he has to work hard la.. its no so easy as in english.. its all unexpected stuff.... and i also need to ralk to wei yuan.. his attitude in band is... dissapointing... well i guess i'll be able to settle that....
Janice has taken the first step ahead....
Saturday, September 17, 2005
life has to go on
i'm crying now....
so many things have happened that even i dunno how to react....
Grace and bin have broken up.. i really feel so sad that this has to happen... even though he never treated her very well.. she still loved him.. maybe thats how silly we are... i've walked out of it.. but it still brought some memories back after reading Grace's blog and remembering what she said... not being appreciated.. why do men just hurt us so much... it was so hard for me to walk out of it.. as i had to act normal.. not sad.. even happy... just to humour the people around me... hurting myself more.. drowning myself with pills.. ( glad i didnt die).. well.. the last few days i've been saying : 'its over'
Life is full of everything... ( i'm still weeping)
Today we had sectionals... wanted to teach fiona and stella well.. my gastric was acting up again.. its been some time since it has been this pain.. but no one seemed to care.. so i didnt care too.. then it secretly went away.... i guess.. i love my section.. but they don't.... its sad i feel... not being appreciated... but.. i guess... some numbing effect will set in and it will be gone... they felt sad that aqeel is one... i feel sad too.. but band life has to move on.. people come and go...
Dear has been sulking the whole week at me.. cause i've been having band stuff the whole week... he stayed at home the whole day when he had off days.. i felt so bad.. however... my band still has to come first.. i'm glad he has been understanding....
Life has been spinning round so fast... i have to quicken my pace... so many band stuff to do.. so little time... can't stall the time... well its ironic that last time i always wanted to be part of the planning gang... for SYF... its tough... but i will suceed... i dont want to give up... its my dream.... but my family is not so understanding la.. but anyway... hiaz.. i will survive.. because i want to... i want to move on with my life... and walk away from the sadness... i don want any guilt or anything... no one owes me anything... i just wanna be happy again.... this few days...
its just the beggining... i will step out and take the first step... janice
so many things have happened that even i dunno how to react....
Grace and bin have broken up.. i really feel so sad that this has to happen... even though he never treated her very well.. she still loved him.. maybe thats how silly we are... i've walked out of it.. but it still brought some memories back after reading Grace's blog and remembering what she said... not being appreciated.. why do men just hurt us so much... it was so hard for me to walk out of it.. as i had to act normal.. not sad.. even happy... just to humour the people around me... hurting myself more.. drowning myself with pills.. ( glad i didnt die).. well.. the last few days i've been saying : 'its over'
Life is full of everything... ( i'm still weeping)
Today we had sectionals... wanted to teach fiona and stella well.. my gastric was acting up again.. its been some time since it has been this pain.. but no one seemed to care.. so i didnt care too.. then it secretly went away.... i guess.. i love my section.. but they don't.... its sad i feel... not being appreciated... but.. i guess... some numbing effect will set in and it will be gone... they felt sad that aqeel is one... i feel sad too.. but band life has to move on.. people come and go...
Dear has been sulking the whole week at me.. cause i've been having band stuff the whole week... he stayed at home the whole day when he had off days.. i felt so bad.. however... my band still has to come first.. i'm glad he has been understanding....
Life has been spinning round so fast... i have to quicken my pace... so many band stuff to do.. so little time... can't stall the time... well its ironic that last time i always wanted to be part of the planning gang... for SYF... its tough... but i will suceed... i dont want to give up... its my dream.... but my family is not so understanding la.. but anyway... hiaz.. i will survive.. because i want to... i want to move on with my life... and walk away from the sadness... i don want any guilt or anything... no one owes me anything... i just wanna be happy again.... this few days...
its just the beggining... i will step out and take the first step... janice
Sunday, September 11, 2005
time to walk out of darkness
My exams are finally over... i'm so happy.. i studied like hell this time... usually i'll study the day before the papers ( maybe thats why i always get shit results) but this time i studied from the study week till the end.. hope i can do better... when Ben smsed me on the friday before the study week to tell me that the seniors were meeting at 730am the next morning... i thought for a moment... should i go for band?? then i felt that i should study hard.. get over with my exams at 1 go and then i can concentrate on my alumni and band.. as i president i should not be getting those pathetic results every year... i'm aiming for a GPA for at least 3... its a long way.. but i'm sure i'll make it... because nothing is impossible.. but you must take that brave first step. only then you will be able to walk to your goal...
As my personal life.. haha.. my birthday came and left quietly... in the band.. only sheryl, ben and chai jing wished me happy birthday... Sheryl's sms was the first of the day!! and Marcus Kor was the best.. he smsed 2 mins before the end of my birthday.. haha... well i guess... life was good... dear bought me a braclet.... so sweet....
Well as for band... haha.. just missing 2 weeks of band meant alot.. i mean ALOT.... so many things happened.. WOW!!! lets start with the major stuff.. i missed the band chalet.. i really wanted to go.. however... if i went.. i'll be wedged between studying and playing... den i won't be able to do well for anything, be it enjoying myself or being tagged down with my notes... so i stayed at home to mug... while lots of partying and alcohol was circulating... ( Can't drink too much alcohol though.. i'll get a slight asthma attack) but i guess i didnt really regret my decision in the end... at least i managed to do my papers confidently.... Well... yesterday my trumpeters met for sectionals at the sun plaza park.. good place... started to rain though... but the seniors were MISSING.. haiz... i've really never seen such irresponsible seniors... they should really help the juniors.. who are clueless... their playing is terrible... only hui xin and norman were there... so norman and Ben took the thirds, i took the seconds and hui xin took the first... den i realised that their basics were not even there... ( What had the seniors been doing???? ARRGH!!!! why the section like that!!!!!! ARRGH!!!! ) but i shall keep my composure... what i need now is patience.... we will be able to make it TOGETHER!!!
Well.. yesterday we also discussed the matter of Gim Kai and Poh... it slipped my tongue that Gim was coming on mon for band... and Poh said that he didnt want to go down on mon... well my personal opinon... no matter how you avoid.. your paths will cross again... misunderstandings must be cleared... why do i say its a misunderstanding? Cause there was never face to face contact... all interpretitions were done over blog... no matter how you interpret, no one can ever get the same understanding as the author... i remember my tution teacher.. she used to tell me that everyone needs time to stand up from falling down.. some need more time .. some need less time... well i guess Gim needs more time... i never blamed him... everyone has different perspectives... life is all about waiting.. however.. everyone choses different ways to wait... i chose to be happy and do what ever i like... happiness to be is important ( though it makes me look forever young.. i guess it keeps the people around happier too). Face your problems head on.. there will always be a way out... there will seldom be a win win situation... but as long as you don't feel that it is a lost den it won't be so bad....
Then the other matter was about norman... well... some stuff had happened and he was badly hurt mentally.. well his heart was always for her.. since the time they were together till they broke up.. till we were together ( for 1 week... haha.. i guess i never regret the stuff that i decided) i've learnt alot from norman... at least all our tears an sweat paid off.. he has grown up... i'm happy for him... that he has experienced alot and be able to still stand strong and brave...
Janice... maybe its time to walk out of the darkness...
As my personal life.. haha.. my birthday came and left quietly... in the band.. only sheryl, ben and chai jing wished me happy birthday... Sheryl's sms was the first of the day!! and Marcus Kor was the best.. he smsed 2 mins before the end of my birthday.. haha... well i guess... life was good... dear bought me a braclet.... so sweet....
Well as for band... haha.. just missing 2 weeks of band meant alot.. i mean ALOT.... so many things happened.. WOW!!! lets start with the major stuff.. i missed the band chalet.. i really wanted to go.. however... if i went.. i'll be wedged between studying and playing... den i won't be able to do well for anything, be it enjoying myself or being tagged down with my notes... so i stayed at home to mug... while lots of partying and alcohol was circulating... ( Can't drink too much alcohol though.. i'll get a slight asthma attack) but i guess i didnt really regret my decision in the end... at least i managed to do my papers confidently.... Well... yesterday my trumpeters met for sectionals at the sun plaza park.. good place... started to rain though... but the seniors were MISSING.. haiz... i've really never seen such irresponsible seniors... they should really help the juniors.. who are clueless... their playing is terrible... only hui xin and norman were there... so norman and Ben took the thirds, i took the seconds and hui xin took the first... den i realised that their basics were not even there... ( What had the seniors been doing???? ARRGH!!!! why the section like that!!!!!! ARRGH!!!! ) but i shall keep my composure... what i need now is patience.... we will be able to make it TOGETHER!!!
Well.. yesterday we also discussed the matter of Gim Kai and Poh... it slipped my tongue that Gim was coming on mon for band... and Poh said that he didnt want to go down on mon... well my personal opinon... no matter how you avoid.. your paths will cross again... misunderstandings must be cleared... why do i say its a misunderstanding? Cause there was never face to face contact... all interpretitions were done over blog... no matter how you interpret, no one can ever get the same understanding as the author... i remember my tution teacher.. she used to tell me that everyone needs time to stand up from falling down.. some need more time .. some need less time... well i guess Gim needs more time... i never blamed him... everyone has different perspectives... life is all about waiting.. however.. everyone choses different ways to wait... i chose to be happy and do what ever i like... happiness to be is important ( though it makes me look forever young.. i guess it keeps the people around happier too). Face your problems head on.. there will always be a way out... there will seldom be a win win situation... but as long as you don't feel that it is a lost den it won't be so bad....
Then the other matter was about norman... well... some stuff had happened and he was badly hurt mentally.. well his heart was always for her.. since the time they were together till they broke up.. till we were together ( for 1 week... haha.. i guess i never regret the stuff that i decided) i've learnt alot from norman... at least all our tears an sweat paid off.. he has grown up... i'm happy for him... that he has experienced alot and be able to still stand strong and brave...
Janice... maybe its time to walk out of the darkness...
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